I Quit - Those We Don't Speak Of!

Okay so if I blog this here and relapse technically I have to admit to it or take this page down right? But... if I succeed this time I can say day so and so of NOT doing 'something' and be really proud of it right? Meanwhile, I feel silenced to actually say what 'it' is. Did you see M. Night Shyamalan's 2004 film The Village?

Those We Don't Speak Of

Am I alone in this hushed phantom vice of mine. I've not yet this week verbally told one friend or family member what I'm actually NOT doing. It is this strength I feel I keep inside, because it alone belongs to ME, but if I type it or say it for some reason it begs me to come back, acknowloging it weakens me (sobs, what a loser). Can you see here what I may be speaking of?
Yes I need help - but I really want to win this time. I want to be the change I wish to see in the world. Which partly is taking better care of one's self. The tingling in my extremities (toes and finger tips) are finally starting to fade. I'm so close to the 'over the hurdle' part of this I'm going to explode! Are you still reading all this? I should be so embarrassed but I'm not! It feels so good to vent! Comments as always welcome!